THE LIFE OF A MOTHERLESS CHILD
Since I have an area set aside for my personal journey.
I thought it would be fitting to included a area for my Spiritual Journey.
Some of it may be a repeat from another area of this blog, but please don't hold it to my heart. Hold it to my head. I just wished from day one that it had came to mind then. So with all of that out of the way . Let me go forward with my Spiritual Journey.
As a youngster, I can go back as far as maybe six years old. It might even be older, but nevertheless let me move right along. My start was in a Baptist Church, and I went to Sunday School,BTU and Choir rehearsal. At that time Sunday School and BTU, did not strike a chord with me ( a kid) and reading was not interesting. As I grew older and got to Elementary School, my life changed drastically.
Having been taken to Sunday Morning services
and being in BTU, learning the ways of the Lord
saved my life while growing older. Along the way, it wasn't easy by the stretch of the imagination. There were times when I could not defend myself for one reason or another. I can't list everything here that I had to endure. But the most important thing i want readers to get out of this post is.My God is a deliverer.
My ( not be selfish) God is a keeper. If he kept a homeless child like me. He surly can keep you. OK! back to the Spiritual walk....We were going to this B-I-G Baptist Church, and one Sunday Night we went to this cute little white church (a spiritual church) ,Pastored by a women...( no pun intended just part of my story, if it were a man i would have said man, now that that's out of the way, let's go on) got in there it was packed. I had never seen so many people in white uniforms like that before. I thought "Whatever they got I want it. People were playing tambourines,drums, shouting. Different ones would stand and say.."The Lord told me ...", and I was just in awe of all of that. A lady came to my mother and she told her...and I quote..."You sitting back there in that pretty hat ..... Stand up!... The Lord, told me to tell you, that the church you are in it is not for you, Because the Lord, has a work for you to do
...I know you Pray for people when you are on the phone, but the Lord has got more for you than that telephone ministry!....Get somewhere you can work....." unquote...
It was so much more to the message that was given. But from that night my (our) live(s) have never been the same.
Still at home ,so you go where your mother takes you. i worked in the second church , at first it was small, I'm talk'in the Pastor, me and my Mom. As time went on the Lord seen fit to allow it to grow. So now it is about 50-75 people,some years passed. But we still go to the little white church at night. Let me tell you, this was when no one cared to watch the clock and be in a hurry to go home...
Those were the days.
Still at home ,so you go where your mother takes you. i worked in the second church , at first it was small, I'm talk'in the Pastor, me and my Mom. As time went on the Lord seen fit to allow it to grow. So now it is about 50-75 people,some years passed. But we still go to the little white church at night. Let me tell you, this was when no one cared to watch the clock and be in a hurry to go home...
Those were the days.
In one of those night services we meant a young Prophet and we became friends. **Stay with me it's not that / lift yo mind...**. Our fellowship for the Lord grew stronger.. He would come and Preach for my home church. In revivals...come in and be the pulpit host. So now let's jump all the way to me being 19 years old, I got interested in visiting other places, but I'd go to my home church first. So I'd follow the Prophet to other places, that's when lil johnny (got that from Dr. Bynum ; ) .... started to raise all kinds of you know what.
Let me make that plain before someone think I'm cussing, HELL....now...
When someone is eating the whole roll (THE WORD), THEY GET THE REAL KNOWLEDGE OF THE TRUTH. And my light bulb started to shine so bright. Things that I was seeing going on in the church building
started to affect me. It made me question my own walk. I began to ask the Lord some serious questions concerning the matter at hand. And when a person does that, they become the enemy. Or the target for the backlash.
started to affect me. It made me question my own walk. I began to ask the Lord some serious questions concerning the matter at hand. And when a person does that, they become the enemy. Or the target for the backlash.
But I stayed the course....obeyed as I should have. And most of all obeyed the Lord... Now , we moved to another area of my city. And right next door was a church in a house. I began to go to Friday night services.
In those services I began to hunger more after God. And all that he had for my life. But in the midst of those times I still was
In those services I began to hunger more after God. And all that he had for my life. But in the midst of those times I still was
going through a lot of things. Home ,Personal, School, and My Spiritual life started to take hits on every side . It was so bad that I felt why be in the church if I have pure mess on every side.
And my first thought that always stayed in my mind was "Why would the Lord have allowed me to even be born to this kind of life?" It was stuff that right now today I don't know why I had to endure such madness.
Right here, I'll just go on to where my escape
mode was revealed to me. Around this time I had a job. And there is a story that goes with that. But we won't go there..... I'll just say that "$$$$" did not make things better... But as I got paid I'd stop at one of our local "Record Shops"....did she say "RECORDS" yes I did... the era....lol!
mode was revealed to me. Around this time I had a job. And there is a story that goes with that. But we won't go there..... I'll just say that "$$$$" did not make things better... But as I got paid I'd stop at one of our local "Record Shops"....did she say "RECORDS" yes I did... the era....lol!
And those ( pic above ) are just a few in my collection.......The record shop's name was "Lyrics Records", I would spent hours at that shop before I got home,after work. The records became a "Source of comfort" my escape ....I"d sing my self happy at night.
Little did I know ,I had an audience. And, was ask to sing at church. I did, but through the years my singing became a problem to so many. I was marked as a Proud / Self-worshipper / Puffed up / Lover of one's self / Show off.....you name it ...it has been said.
And this was coming from "CHRISTIANS" OR SHOULD I HAVE SAID "SO CALLED CHRISTIANS"....how sad.
So to this day,sadly to say I don't and won't sing in services anymore because of all of what I stated before hand. And it's another reason, but I won't mention it here.
So what I do now is. I have two Bedrooms that are not occupied and I have made a Prayer Room into the oblong one. And when I have my moments alone with God I sing for him. And give thanks to HIM & for HIM being God alone. That way my time with HIM & MY PRAISE cannot be put under a microscope. By all of these earthly judges....
I would like to keep the walls down but when I try. Here is lil` Johnny
ready to act a fool again. So I stay in the safety zone. Everything that I say and do goes to these earthy judges. And up for debate. I even had one person out of concern I thought ask me where was I going to church. I had left where that person attends. I told where.... then I was ask for a persons phone number...when I got back to where I was visiting on Sundays... the person whom the number was requested of me began to say somethings that had went on where I was worshiping before.
I would like to keep the walls down but when I try. Here is lil` Johnny
ready to act a fool again. So I stay in the safety zone. Everything that I say and do goes to these earthy judges. And up for debate. I even had one person out of concern I thought ask me where was I going to church. I had left where that person attends. I told where.... then I was ask for a persons phone number...when I got back to where I was visiting on Sundays... the person whom the number was requested of me began to say somethings that had went on where I was worshiping before.
Related to singing... I was just floored.... To think that this person would do this once again... was a stab in the heart to me. I was told that was the case of this individual but I didn't want to believe it was true .
This person is someone I had watched since I was a little girl. Working in the church so diligently, and admired her for the work of the Lord. Needless to say this taught me a very valuable lesson......
And that is never ever put to much thought and trust in "man".
****if I decide nto go farther
And that is never ever put to much thought and trust in "man".
****if I decide nto go farther
**** PLEASE CHECK BACK ****
